A Prehistoric Lark- Chapter 1

Original prompt: Tony and Loki are fighting, actually the avengers, but you get it. Then for one mysterious reason Tony and Loki travel to another universe, completely strange and unknown, so they have to stick together for survive.

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"Okay," Tony grumbled, peeling himself off the ground and brushing soil off his titanium suit. "If you ever do end up joining the Avengers, remind me to never let you pick our annual vacation spot."

Loki bared his teeth in a small snarl, raising his scepter at Tony.

"Whoa, wait." Tony let his gold and red mask slide back slowly, and put his arms out in a make-peace gesture. "How about we save the whole 'I-want-to-rip-your-guts-out' thing for until we get back to New York? 'Cause apparently neither of us knows where we are."

Loki glowered vehemently for a second, but sighed quietly with a comical expression of amusement and dismay, and let his hand fall to his side. The sparks of green magic fizzled out. Tony had to stifle the breath of relief, because, honestly, he wasn't quite sure he would win in a one-on-one fight against the God.

"I suppose you have a point, mortal." Loki said grudgingly. "My magic went erratic just now. I do not know where on Midgard I am."

Tony considered for a moment. "Well, I don't need you." Tony's red and gold mask slid back, revealing his smug smile. "In fact, give me one reason why I shouldn't just leave you here for Thor to collect-"

"Aside from the fact I could blast you to dust," Loki felt the most tremendous satisfaction as Tony's smile faded. "I may… or may not have sent us back in time a few years."

"You're lying."

"Look around you, Son of Stark." Loki growled. "Does this look like your modern little world?"

Tony looked. Indeed, there seemed nothing around for miles aside from skyscraper-sized trees and dusty yellow soil.

"You son of a bitch." Tony slammed his metal-fist into a nearby tree, and left a huge dent.

"Insulting Frigga will get us nowhere, mortal." Loki hacked through the nearby bushes with his scepter, and gave a mock-curtsey to Tony. "We must look around. After you, 'O mighty Man of Iron."

Tony rolled his eyes at the blatant sarcasm and stepped into the path Loki had cleared.

He realised, just a little too late, what an idiot he was for showing an enemy his back.

Tony whirled around and saw the scepter coming towards his helmet in a blur.

The clang of metal against metal ripped through Tony's head.

Loki allowed a wry smile down at the mortal, before delicately stepping over Tony's writhing figure.

"You goddamn-" Tony gasped, after the agonizing ringing in his ears had stopped. "You could have blown my head clean off!"

"What a pity that didn't happen." Loki cast a disdainful look back. "If I'd wanted to kill you, your head would be hanging from that tree right now."

"Oh joy." Tony groaned and laid his head back into the soil. "The guy who threw me out a window doesn't want to kill me anymore. He just wants to whack my brains out for no reason."

"If you want a reason," Loki strode down the path, "That was for implying that there was even the possibility of me joining your pathetic little group of Avengers. Now get up, mortal, before I start dragging you by your manhood."

Tony glared at Loki's retreating silhouette, before rubbing his throbbing head.

The next few days were going to be tremendously fun.

OOO

Agent Hill looked up from the paperwork as the speakers in her office crackled to life.

"Attention, attention all SHIELD personnel. This is Director Fury, from the top floor of Stark Tower. Loki has escaped. I repeat, Asgardian Loki, Rank-A criminal, is on the loose. He is able to shape-shift, so if you notice anyone acting strange, do not hesitate to inform-"

"He took a hostage." The voice was familiar. Agent Hill gave a sigh of relief. So Barton was back on their side.

"Yes, and he took a hostage. So be careful. Who's the hostage?"

"Uh."

Hill wished Director Fury would get all the information first before airing the announcement. The awkward silence all over HQ was almost tangible as Barton's "uhhhh" stretched for a good five seconds.

"Godammit, speak up!" Nick's voice was audibly impatient. That was never good. After Barton clammed up, Nick gave a huff. "I guess it doesn't matter. You are not to endanger the hostage's life, do you hear. Over."

A pause.

"So you're saying, Loki just disappeared?"

"Right after asking for a goddamn drink, no less." Barton muttered.

You forgot to shut the speaker, AGAIN, Hill wanted to scream at the ceiling, bracing herself for a long conversation to be broadcasted across SHIELD HQ.

"Where the hell is Stark?" Nick barked. "Curled up in bed with another woman-"

"Uh." Barton sounded like he'd rather be falling out the window – anywhere – but here.

Hill felt a cold ice settle in the pit of her guts.

"Wait, you don't mean." Nick sounded flabbergasted. "You don't mean the hostage-"

"There was lots of green smoke, then… Then they were gone. Both of them."

Another long silence.

Hill braced herself for the explosion.

It didn't take long.

And that was the day all four hundred and thirty SHIELD agents learnt a dozen new swear words.

OOO

"Uh, Loki?"

The God looked up from the fungus he was studying. "What?"

"What do those look like to you?" Tony pointed at the specks in the distance.

Loki got up with a sigh, and strode out of the forest into the desert landscape. "You would be more familiar with Midgardian creatures than I." He squinted in the distance.

And looked hard for a moment, before frowning.

"Well. I didn't know there were dragons in Midgard."

"There aren't." Tony muttered. The speck seemed to be getting closer.

"They certainly don't look like those on Asgard. Asgard's dragons have not such big heads and little arms. And they don't walk on two legs." Loki took a step back into the dense forest. The speck was definitely getting bigger. "Still, what other creatures are covered entirely in scales?"

"Uh, lizards. Crocodiles. Snakes." Tony shot a doubtful glance at Loki. "Dinosaurs."

There was a guttural roar in the distance.

Tony's heart dropped to his toes.

"Loki," He whispered, "exactly how many years did you send us back?"