Once Again Chapter 16

Loki knew something was wrong the instant he stepped out of his bedroom. It was quiet. Normally the morning air would be laced with chatter from the kitchen and clinking of mugs, and the (almost daily) crash of plates that Thor broke with his strength.

Everyone looked at him when he entered. Loki's big smile slowly faded as he grew uncomfortable under the stares.

"Whatever it is," Loki quickly said, "I swear I didn't do it."

Tony gave a small watery smile. "Nah, it's nothing." Loki had seen enough of Tony's normal smiles to know this one was a far, far cry from genuine. "Loki, after breakfast, can you follow Bruce to the lab? He needs your help with some research."

"Okay," Loki said carefully. He studied the Avengers' faces closely, trying to figure out what was wrong. It had something to do with him, he was sure of it.

OOO

"So," Bruce said, trying to distract Loki as he took a blood sample. Loki flinched violently when the needle went in. "I heard you had nightmares the other night." Loki looked away. Real smooth, Bruce, he cursed at himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," Loki said. "I'm not scared anymore, with all my friends here." Bruce capped the blood sample and placed it into a machine. "What is this for?"   Shit, Bruce thought. Don't tell him, don't tell-

"-So, uh, about your dreams," Bruce hastily said. Jesus, I should just jump off a building now.   "Talking about nightmares help, you know." Loki looked at him strangely.

"Alright…" Loki's voice was softer than ever now. Bruce listened, a little curious. Thor had always defended Loki before, saying he was simply "misguided". The Avengers had scoffed at the idea, but now that they'd seen child Loki, Bruce was beginning to reconsider. Something must have happened to make Loki the crazy bag of cats they'd seen in New York.

People just don't change so much without a reason.

"-the monsters were looking at me like-like a friend, a leader." Loki's little clenched fists were trembling slightly on the metal table. He remembered what he didn't want to. The red blazing eyes of the Jotun that mirrored his own. "I was a monster, a Jotun."

Bruce didn't know what a Jotun was, but it didn't sound good.

"The monsters that Aesir parents warned their children about to discourage them from sneaking out at night." Loki said, seeing Bruce's confused face. His small voice cracked as his eyes dampened. "And I was- I was hurting people, even though I didn't want to. I hurt you and- and Tony and Steve and-"

I was hurting people even though I didn't want to.

Something snapped. Bruce pulled Loki close. Loki stiffened, before relaxing into Bruce's big lab coat. "I- I am a monster."

"Aren't we all."

Loki was quiet for a little while, before he looked up, and tried to smile through the tears and red-rimmed eyes, tried so hard it was painful. "Thank you." He said. "Talking about it does help."

OOO

"You know, we're doing this all wrong," Tony muttered as he paced back and forth the room as soon as Bruce and Loki left. The other Avengers looked up wearily. The heavy mood had affected each of them since Tony broke the news in the morning. "We should be enjoying our- our last day with him, instead of locking him in a lab."

"But the statistics-"

"Screw the statistics!" Tony snapped. Natasha was more than a little amazed. The week with Loki had made Tony get more emotional than Natasha had seen him get in the few years she'd been keeping tabs on him.

"Think clearly, Tony." Natasha said. "It's not easy for any of us, but imagine what will happen if Loki comes back in adult form, unrestrained."

"He may retain memories of the past week." Thor cut in mournfully.

"We all hope so, Thor, but you have to brace yourself for the worst. He remembered nothing from his adulthood, what makes you think he will when he changes back?" Nat looked up just in time to see Tony stand, a determined look on his face. "Tony- Tony! Did you hear what I just said?"

"Jarvis, get Loki and Bruce up now."

"Sir, Mister Banner and Mister Loki seem to be busy. Shall I send a message for them to stop their work and look for you when they are done?

"No, you tell them to drop whatever they're doing and get their asses up right now into the fucking living room." Tony said. "With those exact words."

"Yes, Sir."

Nat gave a groan as everyone seemed to lighten up and Clint gave Tony two thumbs-up. But inside she couldn't help but feel a little relieved too.

OOO

"Tony, you might want to look into your system." Bruce said as he came in a few minutes later, Loki following closely. "Jarvis was awfully rude to us just now."

OOO

"Honestly, horse riding?" Clint stared at the rolling field plains before them. "Where is this place, and how the hell did we get here?"

"I have no idea." Tony grinned, coming back with a few men, who led seven horses. "I just told Jarvis we needed a place to relax, somewhere far from New York. In case of the Chitauri. This is where he brought us."

Tony glanced down at his watch. "But anyway, we'll get home in time for lunch." He waved at the guys with the horses. "Yeah, give us enough equipment for six adults and a kid. We'll figure out how to work the horses ourselves. Come collect them by lunch time." Tony threw a wad of notes at the men. The men retreated quickly.

Clint sighed massively. How very Tony-Stark-ish. Tony had just herded all seven of them onto a helicopter, and next thing they knew, they found themselves in the middle of nowhere, before Jarvis announced they were going horse riding.

"But horse-riding." Clint muttered. "Horses. Is it really a good idea?" He glanced backwards at Loki, who was being helped onto a horse by Natasha and Bruce. "I mean, there's this myth about Loki and a horse, isn't there?"

"Oh come on, that stuff isn't true-" Tony caught himself when he saw the look on Thor's face. "Wait. It isn't right? Please tell me it isn't."

"Many Midgardian myths are exaggerations," Thor murmured, "but not many are untrue."
"Wait- So Loki- Loki did that with a horse? Seriously?"

Thor sighed. "If you must know, Loki was given the task of distracting a foe stallion. He decided that the best way to do so would be to turn into a mare and lead the stallion away." Even Steve was listening by now. "Well, the stallion chased Loki for a night. Loki grew weary by the next day, and the stallion…caught up with him."

All three listening Avengers winced. Steve looked completely scandalized.

"It is not regrettable." Thor smiled.  "Loki birthed Sleipnir eleven months later, and the child was loved immensely. It is now Father's royal steed."

"Wait, what?" Tony choked. "Your dad just decided to ride his grandson all over the universe?"

Thor nodded, completely at ease. "Yes. It is a great honor. Sleipnir is a wonderful horse."

Clint made gagging noises.

"That's-" Tony, searching for a suitable word, glanced over Thor shoulder inadvertently. "That's just- OH MY GOD LOKI!"

Everyone turned just in time to see Loki's horse stop suddenly in the middle of galloping. Loki soared straight over the horse's head, landed in a heap a few meters before the angry horse. Thor almost flew across the distance between him and the child. "Loki, are you alright?"

Loki groaned, before flashing Thor a huge grin. "That ride, I liked it!" Loki clambered out of Thor's arms and raced back over to the horse. "Again!"

OOO

Tony peered at the grayish mash on his plate.

"What is this?" Tony said, poking at the bubbling mess with a knife.

"I'm not sure." Steve said. "I just followed the instructions on the book."

None of them touched their food. Tony was just about to excuse himself to his room before Clint gave a scream, shot up from his seat, and flung the nearest book into the plate.

"Jesus Christ , Clint!" Tony hissed. The book had been one of his favorites. The table had cracked half-way down the side. "Do warn us beforehand when you feel like suddenly going insane."

"That thing moved! " Clint squeaked. "I swear it moved!"

Thor promptly smashed Mjölnir into his food.

The table gave a sickening groan and collapsed.

"This is why I can't have nice stuff." Tony buried his head into his hands. "All in favor of going out for pizza?"

Everyone raised their hands. Even Steve.